a place to live.

we are looking for a place to live.
i have lived in three houses since i was born. the house i currently live in, however, i have lived in since i was eight.

sometimes we walk around the neighborhood - the park, my old elementary school. it is comforting to know an area, to have a strong connection with a place. i have been thinking about this since i will be moving out soon, perhaps to a different area. i love the charm of my city. the mid-century homes. the art deco brick work. the brick work, period. it is a microcosm. an iconic remnant of slow, small-town life. it is framed by four or more freeways, but is somehow removed from the frantic impulse of the city. i visit often. i walk the rotund and think, work out my life on my feet.

on saturday i visited a place that would give me the hidden, quiet existence i want. low hanging trees and whimsical, wild vegetation. front lawns. cozy homes with cozy neighbors and bad parking. not too far from coffeeshops and independently owned stores. a place to walk my thoughts. it is too small. the other apartments in the area have unexposed asbestos. is this a health hazard? is it worth risking to live in this enchanted area? maybe.

our home will probably be small and crammed with books and silence and music. there will be cornmeal on the floor from our pizzas and blankets tucked in every corner.

i will miss my home (and room) of fifteen years. by some magic my room itself has absorbed my character. it effuses who i am. this home is so unequivocally part of my history that i can't imagine a saturday morning waking anywhere else. but there is a pull and true desire to sink into a deep sleep with the feller and kiss him awake. to read by his side. to cook with him and, on occasion, for him. to create a home where others are safe and welcome. to, like my family, be completely and foolishly generous with our time and resources.

this will be my last holiday season living here. i will relish every detail.

yes,

i have nothing wonderful to say tonight.

but sometimes, it's good to write anyways.

i just recently (two wednesdays ago) finished my last fall semester of my undergraduate career. i participated in my last christmas concert with that particular choir. i finished my last set of required recitals. there were a lot of "lasts." and it feels good to be done with them. and to know that this time around, because of a much freer schedule and freer me i was able to fully enjoy them all. i was able to lead and be led. and help clean up. and finish all my classes extremely well (having read all my material, no skimming. not one page.).

yesterday i got a new internship at a church much different than the last. and i am so excited. i will be so much more well rounded because of this. yesterday i had warm beverages (i.e. hot chocolate because i refuse coffee) with an old friend. an old "bosom buddy," as we would joke. she is beautiful. and for so long i felt we would never be friends again if i didn't undergo the changes that i have this past year. but i did undergo those changes. and there we were, catching up. reconnecting. planning to hang out next week. yesterday i got dressed up (boots, leggings, high waisted shorts, lacey shirt, pea coat, ribbon in hair, etc.) to hang out with the feller. we had so much to talk about. to talk through. and i am glad we are able to be there for each other. to bolster one another up. to be tender and kind. to be compassionate. to allow room for frustration (with life, with God, with friends, with fears) and to allow room for hopelessness. and to exhibit, to personify hope to one another.* we meant to go to a street lit up like candy canes in one of our favorite neighborhoods and then head to my house to watch a christmas story, but the conversation was too good. as were the kisses. and the tears. and the laughter. it was all too good. however, when we were done we drove through the half lit up street (it being late and electricity bills being high) and he drove me home. and we talked in the street. under yellow light. i love him in yellow light. and then we said goodnight.

yesterday was a good day.

today was too.

unexpected staff christmas breakfast (someone got my shift covered!).

crafts and movies and coversations with alexis.

work with wonderful people and children.

yes, life is good.

i am very short on money.

transfering from my savings to my checkings kind of short on money.

but life is good.

and there is so much to be thankful for.

*i remember when this meant trying to be someone's savior. trying to fix them. trying to change them because you needed them. because you thought you would suffocate without them. i am glad to say that it doesn't mean that anymore. it comes from a free place. and it is so good.

doodads and whatnots: a story of a room in transition

a chair.

twenty five dollars of peach glory.

perfectly soiled.

i keep telling myself i'm going to clean it.

but i don't know how to. heh.

details get me every time.

sometimes accidents are pretty.

right side up.

can't decide if this lamp needs a lampshade.

glass gifts. full of paper scraps. nails. ribbon&loosepearls.

close up.

dad's old water cooler put to good use with some of these.

and did i mention new bedding?

:)

almost: a story of a room in transition

my room is almost done.

a week ago i spent about five hours painting a floral-esque design on my wall. of course if it were not for my friend michael it would have not been done in five hours. maybe fifteen. but never five. oh! and after some purusing about ikea with the mother i decided on curtains which inspired said floral-esque design. and who can resist ikea's organizational boxes that make the messiest young lady seem put together? not i. especially when they provide the opportunity to label them.

take a peek:

the curtains. and 99 cent mustard colored ribbon. a steal.

insert thrift store chair (yet to be found) in empty space.

scale back a few feet. standing on my bed.

blank wall....

closeups

::drumroll::

the whole thing.

and some.

i.e. branches from behind my bed and vines from my ceiling.

oh!

and look at this two dollar frame. spray painted of course.

artistic, eh?

:P

things yet to be purchased:

bedding.

reading chair.

rug.

adieu!

indulgent: a story of a room in transition

i made the choice to redecorate my room last summer.

needless to say all i did was paint the walls and buy a few items that never made it out of the bag.

lack of motivation had a lot to do with it. but after going to a few thriftshops with my friend last week and seeing those items vamped up and displayed in his room within two days, i was shocked at my own slothfulness. school is out and i have yet to find a job.

so what exactly is holding me back?

oh, yes. the massive, pokey blob in my corner.

the mess that requires sorting through.

but it has been tackled (mostly).

and removed (rather relocated to opposite side of my room).

here are a few new additions:

meet linda.

colored pencils!

tissue paper, stationary, pastels, creative book of ideas, spray paint.

to add: box of old pictures and cards.

underneath this pull out "drawer" are blankets upon blankets filling the entire trunk.

did i mention she looked like this?

enter the xacto knife (cut out that dark brown tarp), sand paper, and a great friend:

victorious. isn't she a beaut?

oh and update on the oragami cranes?

here is that corner now:

the frames are all thrift store finds (one stinking dollar each!).

the wooden ones have been spray painted.

here are some close ups of the frames:

little prince trace. mothers days petals. bird prints.

pictures of romance. hymn.

pictures from books. bird print.

He is faithful. Costa Rican moolah.

bird print. book cover (two lines from a children's poem: "i want to write about things that aren't real. i want to write about floweres that talk"). He loves us. and a pullout from my nephews book. the messy room and stern finger and stubborn face could not be more true to my own experience.

...

that was a rather indulget post. my sincerest apologies.

but allow me one last picture as i am quite unsure what to do with this snippet of wall.

any ideas?