my freshman year of college i was frightened the most lucid white as i stepped on campus.
i only knew a handful of people. and of those, only knew one really well.
my sophmore year of college i was less frightened.
i still had not made many more friends. i was still a commuter. it was the most challenging year of my life thus far. self-awareness. awareness in general. movement away from things and people that had defined me for far too long.
this is my junior year.
and i am not frightened.
i stepped onto campus for music campus registration.
the sea's breath like a
tornado of
welcoming ribbons
round my body.
overcome with a sense of belonging.
my feet
thick and strong
roots
in the ground
beneath.
and only a handful (or two) of friends.
but i can call them friends.
thankfulness the mother
of excitement.
and i still commute. i will most likely never live on campus. but passing hundreds of cars on the freeway at twenty (or seventy five) miles per hour. filled with people who have big noses and deep set eyes whose lives are intricately complex. is something i love. not to mention the sun hanging brightly in the morning sky between whitest clouds.
a commuter at heart. who prefers a room with one bed. and enjoys the company of none. who is re-energized by solitude. even though it scared her at first. and finds herself drained when spending all day with people. but who is extremely grateful for a shared existence. a community of sinners and saints who are, in their own unique ways - whether they are aware of it or not, reaching for the hem of His garment.
balance, stacey, balance.
a sweet dance. duo.
aloneness.
community.
this year shall be resplendent:
in color
in thought
in movement
[period]
