write

it isn't quite summer until all days have been marinated in the southern california sun, which gives me the excuse and pleasure of going to sleep with oversized sweaters, school sweats, and fuzzy christmas socks. but soon enough it will be seventy plus every day and the beach will be a frequent destination (before i find a day job, of course). i must remind myself to wear sunscreen. even if the water is too cold. and the sky is cloudy. because, dear friends, my scalp is peeling. unattractive. quite.

however, my room will be done this summer.

i am determined to not waste the free time i have by just lounging. although, "just lounging" can be so beneficial. so facebook? you might be missing me every so often. but when i do see you it will be short and sweet. don't beat yourself over the head. it isn't you, it's me. cold case re-runs on tbs? dvr will ensure our meeting again.

isn't it time we write our resolutions on our hands and feet?

...

i would love to jump into this picture.

(blue skadoo, we can too)

ring any bells?^

indulgent: a story of a room in transition

i made the choice to redecorate my room last summer.

needless to say all i did was paint the walls and buy a few items that never made it out of the bag.

lack of motivation had a lot to do with it. but after going to a few thriftshops with my friend last week and seeing those items vamped up and displayed in his room within two days, i was shocked at my own slothfulness. school is out and i have yet to find a job.

so what exactly is holding me back?

oh, yes. the massive, pokey blob in my corner.

the mess that requires sorting through.

but it has been tackled (mostly).

and removed (rather relocated to opposite side of my room).

here are a few new additions:

meet linda.

colored pencils!

tissue paper, stationary, pastels, creative book of ideas, spray paint.

to add: box of old pictures and cards.

underneath this pull out "drawer" are blankets upon blankets filling the entire trunk.

did i mention she looked like this?

enter the xacto knife (cut out that dark brown tarp), sand paper, and a great friend:

victorious. isn't she a beaut?

oh and update on the oragami cranes?

here is that corner now:

the frames are all thrift store finds (one stinking dollar each!).

the wooden ones have been spray painted.

here are some close ups of the frames:

little prince trace. mothers days petals. bird prints.

pictures of romance. hymn.

pictures from books. bird print.

He is faithful. Costa Rican moolah.

bird print. book cover (two lines from a children's poem: "i want to write about things that aren't real. i want to write about floweres that talk"). He loves us. and a pullout from my nephews book. the messy room and stern finger and stubborn face could not be more true to my own experience.

...

that was a rather indulget post. my sincerest apologies.

but allow me one last picture as i am quite unsure what to do with this snippet of wall.

any ideas?

the best time

a few things on my to-do list:

.know the Father's voice better by abiding

.spend time with my niece and nephew before they move out

.draw, not because i am good but because it is good for me

.finish my bedroom (this encompasses a whole other list)

.improve my posture before i look like a wilted flower the rest of my life

.be deliberate about where my thoughts take me because the past can dictate what i do and how i feel if i allow it to

.write songs, even if no one will ever hear them

.run, and keep on running

.be frugal, not cheap

.stand firm in who i am created to be, even if it's strange or silly

.keep my room clean for more than three days

.stop being movtivated by fear and rejection

.readreadread

.invest in friendships

.get a job (preferably with kids!)

i'm sure there is more. but that is all i can think of.

summer is the best time to cross things off of a list.

hello again.

i am officially done with my sophmore year.

[what? really?]

and to celebrate i made and hung origami cranes.

[taken with phone]

hello, summer.

i've been meaning to officially re-introduce myself. it's been so long and so much has happened since we've last met. so hello again. i look forward to getting reacquainted.

gather my forces

my grandmother's cockatiel says hello and how are you.

he has been most kind in distracting me from my music theory composition.

[due tomorrow.]

ahhh, finals week. you are my evil nemesis.

and while i lack any substantial plans or tools to defeat you.

i will soon gather my forces.

and strike accordingly.

that is, if i ever get the motivation to start.

:)

pettiness

i wonder if they are skirting around the issues.

if they are conscientiously avoiding conversation.

and if all of their pettiness is a device to drive me away.

to drive honesty into fallow ground.

to fend off self-examination at the expense of friendships.

to settle for small-minded matters of trivial worth.

these are harmless of course.

the laughter is vacuous.

and the depth, my friends, is just not there.

instead:

let us distract ourselves and our counterparts with moving screens.

let us look at others with disdain and prove that we are entitled to

our position and our popularity.

let us expel the eccentric.

let us delight in exclusion.

i have steeled myself for this:

the community is deteriorating.

and no one is willing to do anything to save it.