the implications

dear girl who i have been avoiding,

we could have been friends, you know? if things did not turn out the way they have i might be grabbing lunch with you tomorrow.

i think you are a beautiful person. truly, i do. but i think you are naive jumping into this all so blindly. (not that you would have any way of knowing, some things have been hidden so well and for so long.) and it pains me to see you because you remind me of wounds. wounds. and it grieves me to see you because you are worth more. because you, like so many girls before you, deserve to know the truth. and i cannot tell you unless you ask. do you understand that? it is not my job to expose or uncover. because what is done in darkness will be brought into light. that is not my job.

if you ask for the truth, i will give it to you. but i will not go out of my way and make it my business to tell you what i have learned over the years.

i am not sure you will ever ask. people rarely want to know the truth. especially if it is opposite, contradictory to what they already believe.

i hope things are different for you.

i used to be you, or rather in your shoes.

you should remember it.

you were there on the outside when it all started and when it all ended.

isn't that strange?

it is for me.

even though i am happy with my lot in life, it is.

i hope you are not hurt or deceived.

i hope you are treated well, loved well.

i wish you no ill.

i wish you only the truth, and the courage to explore the implications of the truth.

sincerely,

the girl who keeps avoiding you but secretly wants to bump into you to let it all spill out.