stronger than the shouldn'ts

i've a paper to write. this happens too many times.

i've not the motivation to write it.

i must. i must.

but dissecting a film is not what i care to do at this moment. i have a full day of school tomorrow: nine to nine. i would love to take the day off.

fact: i would really love to take the day off.

i shouldn't.

but sometimes our desire is stronger than the shouldn'ts. i've never missed a full tuesday before. one absense (two for some classes) can't hurt. i have done the readings. i score well on exams. i engage in thoughtful discussions during class. and i've been going nonstop since friday morning. and will continue going nonstop until choir tour is over*. rest is undoubtedly being neglected here, isn't it? i am an introvert. my energy comes from time alone spent rejuvinating. and as of late, i have had no time to re-anything.

ah, here i go rationalizing my desires. but, truthfully, the shouldn't(s) - this shouldn't, specifically - aren't as important as we make them. sometimes the better thing to do is shrug off the day. and do with it something less dreary. the paper will still need to be done. turned in by six at night. but not now. perhaps after a morning walk. and a bowl of crunchy grapes.

*departure? this friday. lots of performances. arrival home? in two sundays.