the gain

today i am reminded of a friend who so plainly told me that i am not missing out on anything. that i haven't lost anything in this transition. i am reminded to love the life i have. to say thank you for my life and not be filled with anxiety about a life i did have or could have had but do not have.

but whatever was to my profit I now

consider loss for the sake of Christ.

What is more, I consider everything a loss

compared to the surpassing greatness of

knowing Christ Jesus my Lord,

for whose sake I have lost all things.

I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ

and be found in him, but that which is through

faith in Christ -

the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith.

I want to know Christ

and the power of his resurrection

and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings,

becoming like him in his death,

and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.

philippians 3:7-11

today i am reminded of a joy that goes deep. a steady joy.

a quiet joy that bubbles up and over.

today i am reminded that i have to choose this joy,

even in what feels like loss.

and that joy, the gain of knowing Christ, makes me want to dance.